Just about anyone planning a wedding uses Google. 3 years ago I heard a lot of comments along the lines of "wow, it's amazing what you can plan on the internet!". I don't hear that anymore because it is the norm. I mean, who doesn't?
Technology and social media have made it possible to not just "google" your wedding but it to make more social, beyond just the ceremony and the party.
I have not seen it done much in South Africa at all but I sense that it two years it will be as passé as using Google is today.
So, how can you enjoy your wedding with social media? Here are a few ideas:
Weddings tend to be collaborative - friends and moms LOVE to get involved. How about setting up a blog using wordpress.com or blogger.com? This way you can keep everyone in the loop on the planning and prep stages as well as having an enduring record of what you went through. Then you could use RememberTheMilk where all those "to do" lists can be kept with reminders by email or sms. You can even get the apps for blackberry or iPhone. Now everyone is in the loop and each knows what is done and still to be done. And of course don't forget to create an event on Facebook. Throw away those post-its!
And for those up to the minute changes, updates and emergencies use a twitter hashtag such as #Hogarthwedding.
You can even plan your colour scheme at colourlovers.com!
One of the best things about a wedding are the fabulous gifts. Having a registry at some fancy boutique is oh so 20th century. Using an Amazon wishlist or MyRegistry.com you can create a custom registry from any store on the web and have it shipped to you.
And then we come to the day itself. I love the fact that just about everyone at a modern wedding is a photographer. At the signing of the register, half the guests leave and the other half hover around the table taking pictures with phones and digital cameras. Create a Flickr account and have all your guests upload the photos. There are great shots taken at the reception that the official photographer would never get. With smart phones these can be uploaded as they're taken! There is also the option to assemble these into a printed album using Blurb
At every wedding there are some important guests that can't make it - they live overseas. Set up a webcam and let them watch the wedding live with streaming video.
Guestbook. Really? How about using Twitterfall and projecting well wishes and congratulations LIVE behind the dance floor? Using the same hashtag you created earlier it's a piece of cake and tweets are sent live by guests from their smartphones. Of course, you'd still have to have the physical guestbook for the grand parents that were invited!
And lastly, everyone's favourite - music. A low budget option that works well is to assemble iTunes play lists for the various parts of the evening. And if there is Wifi available at the venue you could use Apple Remote and guests with iPhones can browse playlists and select music.
The options are endless and even more will become available. It's social media for a reason. We all love to be part of each others lives and be social and never before has it been this easy to be this engaged (pun itended)!
If you are planning a wedding using technology or if you have done so I would love to hear of your experiences.
Good luck!
Most of the research for this article was done using mashable.com.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Change and Social Media: Are you Managing?
Just about everyone I know is aware that I decided to become a professional public speaker at the end of last year.
I was excited at the prospect of being able to impart knowledge that was valuable in the corporate arena which would give a new perspective, a new angle or something fresh that would allow a company or individuals within that company to have a new way or a fresh viewpoint and inspire change and a positive direction.
But with any new venture there are uncertainties and difficulties. I struggled with these for 4 months but in April I met one of South Africa's premier speakers, Michael Jackson. He refers to himself as "the other Michael Jackson" for obvious reasons. A more enthusiastic and driven person it would be hard to find. I thought I was inspired already but 30 minutes with him and I was more determined that ever that this is what I want to do. You can find out more about Michael at www.theothermichaeljackson.com.
In the 8 months since that fateful meeting an idea he had has been developing has come to fruition : To bring on a small core of new speakers who are competent and able to bring value to the corporate market. Michael presents over 150 times a year and the demand is greater than he is able to give - unfortunately there are just so many bricks one man can lay in a day!
This culminated in a "speaker bootcamp" this past weekend in the wonderful town of Barberton. That new core of speakers are: Tove Kane, who has a along and distinguished record in broadcasting; Cyrus Rogers, a giant of a man who is a producer for Summit TV; Shelley Walters, a radio personality from a community station in Port Elizabeth and, of course, myself.
We have finalised our presentations with more in the pipeline in time to come.
Two areas that must be addressed by anyone who is working in a professional environment as well as the professional environment itself are:
Change: For thousands of years the idea has existed that "change is the only constant". This is probably more starkly true today than ever before in our history. Change today is so rapid it boggles the mind and because of this being left behind is rather easy. How is that change managed? This is the subject of our first presentation, The Challenge of Change.
In the world of customer interaction the change described above is being driven more than anything else by Social Media. Social Media itself is growing and changing so rapidly it's difficult to get a grip on it. Enterprises have found themselves disengaged and that is dangerous territory in the social media age. The influence of consumer technology will disrupt corporate identity. And this forms the subject of our second presentation: Connecting business to the new economy through Social Media.
We are being managed by Unique Speaker Bureau who manage a small and very select group of speakers. They are at www.uniquespeakerbureau.com
It's a very exciting time and done well there is prosperity for everyone. I cannot wait!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Five Hundred and Fifty Weddings
Last Saturday I presided over my 550th wedding. I have been keeping track of the number of weddings I have done so it did not come as a surprise, however I posted a Facebook status update about it and in so doing actually thought about what this means.
I became a marriage officer in 2000 but at that time there was no intention to make a living from doing it. Over the next two years I performed 5 or 10 weddings. I found that I LOVED it. I always felt exceptionally privileged when asked to do the honours. In 2002 I thought about the possibility of being a marriage officer for a living. My greatest concern was that over time I would become jaded and I would view it as just a job. I told my wife that if that ever happened I would quit.
The closest I ever got was in mid 2005 when I booked 3 weddings on a single Saturday, the first was around 2pm, the last at 6pm, starting in Muldersdrift, then Midrand then Joburg Central. The first wedding started late which put me on edge and I found myself getting irritable with the couple. I concluded the ceremony and rushed to the next one which was also delayed. I became more and more freaked out and by the time I arrived at the final wedding with just minutes to spare I was close to a wreck. Although a profitable day I felt I had reached that dreaded point of being jaded. I decided to quit. Not a very practical or workable solution to the problem. It's not the sort of job you can just quit. Brides and Grooms still called and wanted the service that I offer - an all denominational ceremony. What was I supposed to do? Tell them no?
The solution was quite simple - no more than two weddings on a day and only if they are many hours apart (i.e. morning and afternoon). For the most part this works just fine.
So that does this all mean and what's the point?
I feel so incredibly lucky to have found something to do for a living that I enjoy, that is meaningful and that is so wonderfully intimate. Despite what is common in all weddings it is the groom and brides that are different, that are special and for as long as I remember that it is those two people I want to please, I will continue to love this work.
And it's downhill to one thousand!
I became a marriage officer in 2000 but at that time there was no intention to make a living from doing it. Over the next two years I performed 5 or 10 weddings. I found that I LOVED it. I always felt exceptionally privileged when asked to do the honours. In 2002 I thought about the possibility of being a marriage officer for a living. My greatest concern was that over time I would become jaded and I would view it as just a job. I told my wife that if that ever happened I would quit.
The closest I ever got was in mid 2005 when I booked 3 weddings on a single Saturday, the first was around 2pm, the last at 6pm, starting in Muldersdrift, then Midrand then Joburg Central. The first wedding started late which put me on edge and I found myself getting irritable with the couple. I concluded the ceremony and rushed to the next one which was also delayed. I became more and more freaked out and by the time I arrived at the final wedding with just minutes to spare I was close to a wreck. Although a profitable day I felt I had reached that dreaded point of being jaded. I decided to quit. Not a very practical or workable solution to the problem. It's not the sort of job you can just quit. Brides and Grooms still called and wanted the service that I offer - an all denominational ceremony. What was I supposed to do? Tell them no?
The solution was quite simple - no more than two weddings on a day and only if they are many hours apart (i.e. morning and afternoon). For the most part this works just fine.
So that does this all mean and what's the point?
I feel so incredibly lucky to have found something to do for a living that I enjoy, that is meaningful and that is so wonderfully intimate. Despite what is common in all weddings it is the groom and brides that are different, that are special and for as long as I remember that it is those two people I want to please, I will continue to love this work.
And it's downhill to one thousand!
Friday, October 8, 2010
A Wedding and the First Rain of the Season
Yesterday was one of the more fun weddings I've done.
Andrew and Pippa got married at Toadbury Hall and they used a traditional hand-fasting ceremony. On the property is a small clearing in the middle of a magical looking and feeling forest very near a river. However on my way out to the venue which is located on the very far east Rand I noticed a dark ominous cloud hanging over Joburg and moving rapidly. I got a call from my sister saying it was raining cats and dogs in Joburg. When I arrived at the venue it was clear that the race was on between the wedding and the weather and by 3.30 the weather seemed to be slightly ahead.
We tried to hurry things along but generally weddings will not be hurried. With the wedding scheduled to start at 4pm it was going to be very tight. At 3.50 the guy running the venue came down the river to tell us that the rain had started and that we should move everything up to the plan B venue inside. Both Andrew and I were convinced we would beat the weather and so chose to remain.
By this time the forest was positively gothic in appearance with the dark clouds, brooding weather and 6 lit candles desperately clinging to life. It was perfect. But the pace of the rain grew steadily and at two minutes to four we received word that Pippa had pulled the plug and the venue was changed to Plan B. Staff scuttled about collecting up flowers and candles to get them up. We all made a dash in the rain. Within 2 brief minutes of getting inside the heavens opened up and it POURED down. Then the lights went out. And then came back on, then went out, then on, off, on....
When the bride arrived several guests made a chain of umbrellas so she could make it inside without getting too wet.
Finally we were underway! I had the bestman and bridesmaid on either side of me with hurricane lamps as cover for when the lights went out - which was most of the time.
A key part of the hand fasting ceremony are 6 cords which are used to 'bind' the groom and bride together. Pippa's bridesmaid, Jess was supposed to have brought them but shortly after we started there was mild panic as she indicated she'd left them behind. The bestman was dispatched to get a back up. He slipped out and a few minutes later arrived back with cords in hand.
The rest of the ceremony proceeded well and afterwards we went to an upstairs room to sign the register. Pippa's father had bought a special pen for the occasion but it had vanished. After some scurrying about it was located in the kitchen and the signing was completed.
Very little went according to plan but both Pippa and Andrew were in the spirit of the moment and it became a ceremony abundant with fun and meaning.
It was just fabulous as they brought with them the first rain of the season. Perfect for a new beginning!
Andrew and Pippa got married at Toadbury Hall and they used a traditional hand-fasting ceremony. On the property is a small clearing in the middle of a magical looking and feeling forest very near a river. However on my way out to the venue which is located on the very far east Rand I noticed a dark ominous cloud hanging over Joburg and moving rapidly. I got a call from my sister saying it was raining cats and dogs in Joburg. When I arrived at the venue it was clear that the race was on between the wedding and the weather and by 3.30 the weather seemed to be slightly ahead.
We tried to hurry things along but generally weddings will not be hurried. With the wedding scheduled to start at 4pm it was going to be very tight. At 3.50 the guy running the venue came down the river to tell us that the rain had started and that we should move everything up to the plan B venue inside. Both Andrew and I were convinced we would beat the weather and so chose to remain.
By this time the forest was positively gothic in appearance with the dark clouds, brooding weather and 6 lit candles desperately clinging to life. It was perfect. But the pace of the rain grew steadily and at two minutes to four we received word that Pippa had pulled the plug and the venue was changed to Plan B. Staff scuttled about collecting up flowers and candles to get them up. We all made a dash in the rain. Within 2 brief minutes of getting inside the heavens opened up and it POURED down. Then the lights went out. And then came back on, then went out, then on, off, on....
When the bride arrived several guests made a chain of umbrellas so she could make it inside without getting too wet.
Finally we were underway! I had the bestman and bridesmaid on either side of me with hurricane lamps as cover for when the lights went out - which was most of the time.
A key part of the hand fasting ceremony are 6 cords which are used to 'bind' the groom and bride together. Pippa's bridesmaid, Jess was supposed to have brought them but shortly after we started there was mild panic as she indicated she'd left them behind. The bestman was dispatched to get a back up. He slipped out and a few minutes later arrived back with cords in hand.
The rest of the ceremony proceeded well and afterwards we went to an upstairs room to sign the register. Pippa's father had bought a special pen for the occasion but it had vanished. After some scurrying about it was located in the kitchen and the signing was completed.
Very little went according to plan but both Pippa and Andrew were in the spirit of the moment and it became a ceremony abundant with fun and meaning.
It was just fabulous as they brought with them the first rain of the season. Perfect for a new beginning!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Passion over Cynicism
In 10 years of being a Marriage Officer I have met a lot of people and worked with or dealt with many people in the wedding industry.
I have always loved being a Marriage Officer, even before I realised I could making a living doing it. It is such an intimate moment to share with two people. Early on I told my wife that if I ever got the point where I was cynical about marriage I would stop doing this work. The closest I came to giving it up was in 2003. In November that year I got so busy and on one day performed 3 weddings. I was under so much duress to get done with one to make the other that I was irritable and frustrated. As a result I stopped performing weddings for about 4 months. I missed it too much so got back into it but established a policy of doing a maximum of two weddings in a day and only if they are timed far apart (morning and afternoon). In this way I've kept the excitement and enjoyment of being involved in what is a one in a lifetime event for those closest.
In meeting the many people involved in the industry from venue owners to organisers, photographers, decor and so on I've became acutely aware of a cynicism that runs as an undercurrent in discussions about weddings and it irritates me. You'll hear snide remarks about a "nightmare bride" or a bride's mother that is too much to bear. I do understand that with any job there are times that are frustrating or challenges to deal with. There always are.
So it is fantastic to meet people in the industry that are clearly passionate about what they do. They work hard (it has to be said that the wedding industry IS hard work) but love what they do and give everything to the brides they work with.
I've been privileged to meet two such people this year. The first is Khali Collins who is a wedding planner and she is also involved with the SA School of Weddings. I don't know much about her personally but I have seen her at weddings, I've seen her at the wedding expo. She clearly loves what she does, probably too much. If her Facebook statuses are anything to go by she is not getting enough sleep. If you want to have someone planning your wedding who is as passionate about it as you are then you'll want to meet Khali. Check her out at www.theweddingspecialist.co.za.
The other is Phern Orr. She coordinates weddings for Morrells Boutique Venue. I have performed several weddings there this year. Firstly the venue is wonderful: Quaint, a little rustic and exquisitely photogenic. Phern works most weekends and when I see her there it clearly is not a casual, sit at your desk type of job. She flies around arranging, coordinating and bossing. Find out more at www.morrells.co.za
Good luck to both of them, I hope they love it forever.
I have always loved being a Marriage Officer, even before I realised I could making a living doing it. It is such an intimate moment to share with two people. Early on I told my wife that if I ever got the point where I was cynical about marriage I would stop doing this work. The closest I came to giving it up was in 2003. In November that year I got so busy and on one day performed 3 weddings. I was under so much duress to get done with one to make the other that I was irritable and frustrated. As a result I stopped performing weddings for about 4 months. I missed it too much so got back into it but established a policy of doing a maximum of two weddings in a day and only if they are timed far apart (morning and afternoon). In this way I've kept the excitement and enjoyment of being involved in what is a one in a lifetime event for those closest.
In meeting the many people involved in the industry from venue owners to organisers, photographers, decor and so on I've became acutely aware of a cynicism that runs as an undercurrent in discussions about weddings and it irritates me. You'll hear snide remarks about a "nightmare bride" or a bride's mother that is too much to bear. I do understand that with any job there are times that are frustrating or challenges to deal with. There always are.
So it is fantastic to meet people in the industry that are clearly passionate about what they do. They work hard (it has to be said that the wedding industry IS hard work) but love what they do and give everything to the brides they work with.
I've been privileged to meet two such people this year. The first is Khali Collins who is a wedding planner and she is also involved with the SA School of Weddings. I don't know much about her personally but I have seen her at weddings, I've seen her at the wedding expo. She clearly loves what she does, probably too much. If her Facebook statuses are anything to go by she is not getting enough sleep. If you want to have someone planning your wedding who is as passionate about it as you are then you'll want to meet Khali. Check her out at www.theweddingspecialist.co.za.
The other is Phern Orr. She coordinates weddings for Morrells Boutique Venue. I have performed several weddings there this year. Firstly the venue is wonderful: Quaint, a little rustic and exquisitely photogenic. Phern works most weekends and when I see her there it clearly is not a casual, sit at your desk type of job. She flies around arranging, coordinating and bossing. Find out more at www.morrells.co.za
Good luck to both of them, I hope they love it forever.
Monday, September 13, 2010
In Sickness and Health
Yesterday I performed what was probably the most emotional wedding I have ever done.
Rebecca and Haydn are Australians and they've been together for 6 years. Haydn travels extensively doing mine exploration. Most recently his job took him to Cameroon where he was managing a project. He became ill with what would later be diagnosed as pneumonia. He was taken to a local hospital and rapidly got worse. He spent 5 days with his temperature at 42 degrees in appalling conditions in the hospital. Finally he was emergency airlifted to South Africa on the verge of death. Rebecca flew in from Australia to meet him in South Africa. Within a few days of proper treatment he improved markedly and was getting better daily.
They had been intending to get married for some time and decided that now is the time. Rebecca called me and asked if I would marry them at the hospital.
When I arrived and saw Haydn it was clear that he had been through a rough time and although improved, he was only partly on the road to recovery. Both he and Rebecca are quiet and unassuming but after some short conversation it was clear to me that they are also both strong and good people.
After completing the paperwork two nurses were called in to act as witnesses. Haydn got out of bed and walked a little unsteadily to a chair nearby.
I kept the ceremony short and simple. I handed Rebecca's ring to Haydn and asked him to repeat after me... "with this symbol of my love...." Several weeks of pent up emotion suddenly rushed to the surface and he could not contain himself and he burst into sobbing tears. Rebecca immediately followed suit. It was a moment of profound emotion that is very difficult to describe. The joy of being alive and able to share this with one another. It took a long while for him to get all the words out but he did and a few short minutes later they were married.
I truly wish both of them all of the best. They have already overcome a major challenge and I hope it gets easier from here.
Rebecca and Haydn are Australians and they've been together for 6 years. Haydn travels extensively doing mine exploration. Most recently his job took him to Cameroon where he was managing a project. He became ill with what would later be diagnosed as pneumonia. He was taken to a local hospital and rapidly got worse. He spent 5 days with his temperature at 42 degrees in appalling conditions in the hospital. Finally he was emergency airlifted to South Africa on the verge of death. Rebecca flew in from Australia to meet him in South Africa. Within a few days of proper treatment he improved markedly and was getting better daily.
They had been intending to get married for some time and decided that now is the time. Rebecca called me and asked if I would marry them at the hospital.
When I arrived and saw Haydn it was clear that he had been through a rough time and although improved, he was only partly on the road to recovery. Both he and Rebecca are quiet and unassuming but after some short conversation it was clear to me that they are also both strong and good people.
After completing the paperwork two nurses were called in to act as witnesses. Haydn got out of bed and walked a little unsteadily to a chair nearby.
I kept the ceremony short and simple. I handed Rebecca's ring to Haydn and asked him to repeat after me... "with this symbol of my love...." Several weeks of pent up emotion suddenly rushed to the surface and he could not contain himself and he burst into sobbing tears. Rebecca immediately followed suit. It was a moment of profound emotion that is very difficult to describe. The joy of being alive and able to share this with one another. It took a long while for him to get all the words out but he did and a few short minutes later they were married.
I truly wish both of them all of the best. They have already overcome a major challenge and I hope it gets easier from here.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Any Objections?
You've seen it many many times in the movies. Two people getting married but the true love is not at the altar. The Hero rushes in right when when the minister asks "if there be any just cause...."
In reality it just doesn't happen but I suspect there may be one good one in my future. There was an occasion where I almost objected to marrying the couple on account of the borderline drunkenness of the groom. When I told him I would refuse to marry him if he continued to act out he seemed to sober up considerably so all proceeded pleasantly!
There was a close call about 8 years ago and it was uncomfortably awkward. The two people in question had emigrated to New Zealand. They came back to South Africa for a holiday and decided that it would be a good time to get married. They announced to all their friends they were having an engagement party. Secretly they planned with me for this to be a wedding. A surprise wedding! That WAS a surprise. It was bound to be fun.
About 50 or so family and friends showed up. I stood around a little sheepishly trying not to draw too much attention to myself and ignoring the inquiring "who the hell is he?" stares.
Finally all guests were asked to sit down. I stepped forward and announced that the gathering was in fact a wedding. There was applause and everyone seemed happy. I launched into the ceremony and all seemed just fine. Then I got to the inevitable "any objections?" question. After the briefest of silences a woman about 2 rows back stood up and walked out. The pause fell pregnant, went full term and almost gave birth before I thrust headlong into the remaining ceremony. After that it was great and there was no further incident.
Afterward I asked who had walked out. Turns out it was the groom's mother. They weren't too shocked and had expected something as there had been ongoing issues. They were confident it would be resolved. I offered to help mediate and resolve a clearly touchy issue. They assured me all was well.
I really hope it was.
In reality it just doesn't happen but I suspect there may be one good one in my future. There was an occasion where I almost objected to marrying the couple on account of the borderline drunkenness of the groom. When I told him I would refuse to marry him if he continued to act out he seemed to sober up considerably so all proceeded pleasantly!
There was a close call about 8 years ago and it was uncomfortably awkward. The two people in question had emigrated to New Zealand. They came back to South Africa for a holiday and decided that it would be a good time to get married. They announced to all their friends they were having an engagement party. Secretly they planned with me for this to be a wedding. A surprise wedding! That WAS a surprise. It was bound to be fun.
About 50 or so family and friends showed up. I stood around a little sheepishly trying not to draw too much attention to myself and ignoring the inquiring "who the hell is he?" stares.
Finally all guests were asked to sit down. I stepped forward and announced that the gathering was in fact a wedding. There was applause and everyone seemed happy. I launched into the ceremony and all seemed just fine. Then I got to the inevitable "any objections?" question. After the briefest of silences a woman about 2 rows back stood up and walked out. The pause fell pregnant, went full term and almost gave birth before I thrust headlong into the remaining ceremony. After that it was great and there was no further incident.
Afterward I asked who had walked out. Turns out it was the groom's mother. They weren't too shocked and had expected something as there had been ongoing issues. They were confident it would be resolved. I offered to help mediate and resolve a clearly touchy issue. They assured me all was well.
I really hope it was.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Oscar comes to the wedding industry
It's a very clever idea. The wedding industry in South Africa has exploded and it is now a multi-billion rand enterprise. A group called the South African Bridal Industry Academy (SABIA) started a couple years ago and positioned themselves as the industry authority. Suppliers become members and it gives the general idea of legitimacy to an otherwise unregulated industry.
SABIA started an awards programme to acknowledge those who do very well. Results are based on nominations and votes from brides. Every supplier from the florists, the cake makers, bridal shops and of course celebrants are included. You don't necessarily have to be the best but you must be the best at getting your brides to vote for you.
If you are among the winners AND you are also a member of SABIA you get great exposure which makes membership an incentive. These awards were known as the "VOW Awards" but have now been re-branded as the far more sensible "Brides Choice Awards".
I found out about this in May. Nominations were to close at the end of June so I had around 6 weeks to get as many of the brides I'd married in the last year to log on and vote. It went surprisingly well and I received fantastic support.
After the results had been verified and audited (I was told there is a very strict procedure for this) I was informed in July that I had placed in the top 3 but final winners would be announced at a gala dinner in Cape Town on August 19th. Great. A flight to Cape Town, a night of accommodation and a R700 ticket to the event to find out if I had won! Despite this I got into the excitement of it all.
I approached the event in a very nonchalant manner. I mean top three is great, right? I thought the trip would give me the opportunity to meet others in the industry and get a generally feel of what is going down, whose who and from there plot my future.
Finally the time for the event arrived. Held at the Vineyard Spa & Hotel in Newlands it seemed posh enough with champaign at the reception and the soft hum of muted conversation by small groups of people that know each other. I was duly given my name tag. And surely there is a better system than walking around with a name tag that everyone is really too embarrassed to stare at and read. I took mine off only to have Alysson Watt, SABIA's head honcho and organiser, come over and put it back on. And of course a few people standing awkwardly on their own desperately hoping their Blackberries would do something to distract them from the awkwardness. I found myself in this last collection of people.
I was struck by the fact that not one attending industry supplier was black or indian. It is a clearly white dominated industry - something that will surely need to be addressed. (But, by whom?). It would also seem that Afrikaans women have a dominating presence. I was impressed by this.
It took ages to start but once it did the awards rolled very quickly. I looked down the programme and saw that my category was about half way through the first batch of awards (those being given between starters and the main course). Without warning I became nervous and for the first time realised that I really wanted to win this. Wow! In each category the bronze, silver and gold winners were announced. We arrived at the "marriage celebrant" category and with what seemed liked little pomp I was announced as the silver winner. No bronze or gold winner was announced. I headed up to the podium, got my picture taken and made an impromptu speech and headed out of the room to have another picture taken.
And that was it, I was done. The questions swirled: Who was first? How much did I lose by? Who came third? Why weren't the others announced? Turns out the other two winners were not members and they were not present so no big announcement for them!
The event was not without its embarrassing moments with one venue being announced as the Gold winner only to immediately be told "No, sorry it's actually Silver". Ouch. And Alysson pretty much ran the event herself - presenting and then running over to the laptop and projector to get the next slide presentation ready and running back to the podium.
But despite this it was a very well run event and one which I have no doubt will grow in stature and import.
It's a lot of fluff and PR but fabulously enjoyable and I will no doubt work harder to get into first place next year! A very special thanks to all the couples that I worked with in the last year and if you nominated me I am exceptionally grateful!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Celebrating a life
I was the celebrant at a funeral this morning for a person who by all accounts lived a good life and made a lot of friends and who was loved. He was 25 at his passing and died by his own hand.
Something I have always emphasised at such occasions is that it is important to celebrate the life that has been lived and not just mourn its passing. Something similar is often said at funerals.
It was only after the ceremony as I watched the presence of the intense grief of those who had loved him that I thought "How is a life supposed to be celebrated?". Had I asked myself this question before or even during the service my answer would have been as follows:
Celebrate the life of those who have passed. How to celebrate that life is summed up in one word - LIVING. Honor your friend by living. Seek out Love. If you have already found love then nurture it and make it grow. Seek to cross any divides with family and with friends. Live compassionately and passionately. When talking of those who have passed do it with passion: Whether you're angry, upset or remembering fondly, be passionate.
Grief is part of that celebration as we grieve for the celebration that is lost. But that grief must give rise to a further inspiration to LIVE.
When my time comes, that is how I would like to be celebrated.
Something I have always emphasised at such occasions is that it is important to celebrate the life that has been lived and not just mourn its passing. Something similar is often said at funerals.
It was only after the ceremony as I watched the presence of the intense grief of those who had loved him that I thought "How is a life supposed to be celebrated?". Had I asked myself this question before or even during the service my answer would have been as follows:
Celebrate the life of those who have passed. How to celebrate that life is summed up in one word - LIVING. Honor your friend by living. Seek out Love. If you have already found love then nurture it and make it grow. Seek to cross any divides with family and with friends. Live compassionately and passionately. When talking of those who have passed do it with passion: Whether you're angry, upset or remembering fondly, be passionate.
Grief is part of that celebration as we grieve for the celebration that is lost. But that grief must give rise to a further inspiration to LIVE.
When my time comes, that is how I would like to be celebrated.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
An Epic Journey
An Epic journey it was. 5 days, 3000kms traversing 5 provinces so I could marry a couple who live just 20kms from my home in Joburg!
I received a phone call from Glynnis about 6 weeks ago asking if I would be available for a wedding in Plettenberg Bay. I was driving at the time and I instantly said "yes". I loved the idea of taking my wife for a road trip and a long weekend away. The date was set for the 8th of August 2010.
Glynnis is a wonderful singer who performs at Jewish weddings. The couple, Richard and Jenny, were planning to have a lot Jewish tradition even though Richard is Catholic.
It was only on the weekend before the wedding that I sat down and planned the trip and realised,, to my horror, how far Plett actually is and what this would land up costing me versus what I had charged. I hurriedly tried to arrange to fly down in stead. Too late - with the long weekend there were just no flights available.
I resigned myself to this long trip. We would leave Friday and return on Monday. Jenny's mother, Barbara had kindly agreed to put us up at a local villa for 3 nights.
Melissa and I planned to get an early night and get up at 3.30 and hit the road by 4am. This worked accordingly to plan except for the early night. With the anticipation of the trip we couldn't sleep and by the time we hit the road we'd only slept for 3 hours.
I'll spare everyone the play by play details of the journey down. In summary we went to PE for a day where I paid R800 for the wrong mechanical problem but despite that we arrived in Plettenberg Bay on Saturday evening, thoroughly exhausted.
One amusing anecdote - we went into "downtown" Plett to get some dinner. At random we decided on "Ghilies" which promised both sea food and steak. As we approached I noticed the place was deserted, not a single table was occupied. The manager approached and when asked to be seated he says, totally straight face "I'm sorry, we're totally booked out." It was all Melissa could do from bursting out laughing. I assume the rush of guests would arrive in due course.We woke to an amazing day on Sunday morning and headed to the beach to catch the sunrise which was just fabulous. It bode very well for the 4.30 wedding.
Rather uniquely all male guests were given a yulmulka inscribed with the couple's name and the date.
The Plett Park hotel is beautifully situated on the rocks overlooking the ocean. During clear weather the view must be breath taking. During the cold rainy weather I found it starkly awesome.
Shortly after 4.30 the wedding began. The Chupa was crowded with Groom, Bride, mother and father of the bride, bestman and 4 pole holders as well as a ring bearer and flower girl. Then of course me to preside and occasionally the Chazan to sing blessings. This made for lots of gentle shuffling about.
I loved the ceremony. The singing was magical and clearly both Jenny and Richard were enjoying it. It was never sombre but rather light with humour and love. Quite uplifting!
Afterward we all scurried to our cars and made for the White House - a restaurant in the centre of town which hosted the reception. The food was scrumptious, the wine smooth and the speeches surprisingly delightful. Melissa and I sat with the person who did the flowers and clearly it had been a stressful week for her!
We finally took our leave shortly after 11am. We fell asleep almost as soon as we hit the pillows!
Monday morning (public holiday) was another two hour drive back to PE where we spent another day. On Tuesday we began and concluded the marathon drive back to Joburg.
Was it worth all that effort? It always is.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Love is in the air
As a marriage officer that has performed over 500 weddings I am often asked "what is the most interesting wedding you have done?" The question is too broad as so many weddings are interesting for so many reasons. I am therefore going to be detailing some of the interesting, funny, amazing things that I have seen and experienced at weddings in my 10 year career in this field.
I met Corrie and Nicola in February 2005. They had been together for about a year and were clearly in love. Nicola was a lot of fun, at least she seemed like she could be as we sat drinking cappuccinos at the House of Coffee. The House of Coffee had been my unofficial office for 4 years. Corrie was the kind of Afrikaaner that is very enjoyable to be around, laughing easily and talking very openly.
They were both microlite fanatics. From what I recall they either met this way or one got the other in to it. But they loved it. They spoke for some time about the pleasure they derive from being in the air and the freedom that comes with it. I was impressed at how much they shared this passion as well as their passion for one another. It was entertaining and pleasurable to listen to them.
In the middle of telling me about the great rush of flying Corrie casually says "so we thought we'd get married in a microlite". The statement went right over my head. My brain caught up a few seconds later. "What!?"
They wanted to know if it would be possible for them to have their wedding in the air, while piloting their microlites.
I was a little stunned as I considered how this would actually work. The picture I got was the three of us squeezed into a thin sheet of fabric wrapped around a flimsy aluminium frame being powered by little more than a lawn mower engine. It terrified me. How would I even get a word out of my mouth? I was massively relieved to know that the ceremony would be conducted by radio and each would be in their own microlite and I would be in a 3rd. Since it was to be done over radio it occurred to me that I could do my bit on the ground. I eagerly put forward this suggestion. They agreed with only slight disappointment.
And so it was.
I was surprised to learn the intricacies of actually flying these little machines. Due to the dynamics of wind and heat the wedding would have to take place at 6am at a tiny airfield outside Pretoria.
This sounded very exciting until I realised I would have to get out of bed at 4.00am to make the airfield by 5.30 for the 6.00 take off.
On the 25th of March 2006 my wife and I got out of bed, made ourselves look as decent as it is possible at that time of the morning and headed out. There were around 40 people there when we arrived and breakfast was already being prepared on several Webber braai's. The tone was pleasantly upbeat and lame comments such as "Love is in the air" abounded.
It amused me that Nicola was nervous about getting married when she was about to take the sky in a machine that had no real right to be off the ground. I was nervous of the possibly of presiding over my first wedding/funeral.
Shortly after 6am Corrie got into his microlite and lumbered ungainly down what can only laughingly be called a runway and took the skies. He was followed a few minutes later by Nicola. Once they had been in the air for some 6 minutes I was given a walkie-talkie. It was was very awkward for me at the beginning but soon got into saying "do you Nicola take Corrie to be your lawfully wedded husband, over?". It was hilarious. But very very sweet. They declared their love and devotion to one another and 15 minutes later they landed and after clumsily getting out of their harnesses ran to one another an gave each other big kiss to the delight of the assembled crowd.
We moved into the hangar and signed the paperwork and it was done.
It was 8.30 by the time I got back home and it felt like I'd lived a week, yet the day only just begun.
I met Corrie and Nicola in February 2005. They had been together for about a year and were clearly in love. Nicola was a lot of fun, at least she seemed like she could be as we sat drinking cappuccinos at the House of Coffee. The House of Coffee had been my unofficial office for 4 years. Corrie was the kind of Afrikaaner that is very enjoyable to be around, laughing easily and talking very openly.
They were both microlite fanatics. From what I recall they either met this way or one got the other in to it. But they loved it. They spoke for some time about the pleasure they derive from being in the air and the freedom that comes with it. I was impressed at how much they shared this passion as well as their passion for one another. It was entertaining and pleasurable to listen to them.
In the middle of telling me about the great rush of flying Corrie casually says "so we thought we'd get married in a microlite". The statement went right over my head. My brain caught up a few seconds later. "What!?"
They wanted to know if it would be possible for them to have their wedding in the air, while piloting their microlites.
I was a little stunned as I considered how this would actually work. The picture I got was the three of us squeezed into a thin sheet of fabric wrapped around a flimsy aluminium frame being powered by little more than a lawn mower engine. It terrified me. How would I even get a word out of my mouth? I was massively relieved to know that the ceremony would be conducted by radio and each would be in their own microlite and I would be in a 3rd. Since it was to be done over radio it occurred to me that I could do my bit on the ground. I eagerly put forward this suggestion. They agreed with only slight disappointment.
And so it was.
I was surprised to learn the intricacies of actually flying these little machines. Due to the dynamics of wind and heat the wedding would have to take place at 6am at a tiny airfield outside Pretoria.
This sounded very exciting until I realised I would have to get out of bed at 4.00am to make the airfield by 5.30 for the 6.00 take off.
On the 25th of March 2006 my wife and I got out of bed, made ourselves look as decent as it is possible at that time of the morning and headed out. There were around 40 people there when we arrived and breakfast was already being prepared on several Webber braai's. The tone was pleasantly upbeat and lame comments such as "Love is in the air" abounded.
It amused me that Nicola was nervous about getting married when she was about to take the sky in a machine that had no real right to be off the ground. I was nervous of the possibly of presiding over my first wedding/funeral.
Shortly after 6am Corrie got into his microlite and lumbered ungainly down what can only laughingly be called a runway and took the skies. He was followed a few minutes later by Nicola. Once they had been in the air for some 6 minutes I was given a walkie-talkie. It was was very awkward for me at the beginning but soon got into saying "do you Nicola take Corrie to be your lawfully wedded husband, over?". It was hilarious. But very very sweet. They declared their love and devotion to one another and 15 minutes later they landed and after clumsily getting out of their harnesses ran to one another an gave each other big kiss to the delight of the assembled crowd.
We moved into the hangar and signed the paperwork and it was done.
It was 8.30 by the time I got back home and it felt like I'd lived a week, yet the day only just begun.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The No Communication Vacuum
As I speak to people around the country I am struck by an interesting observation: Non-communication creates a vacuum which then fills itself.I guess I need to further explain that piece of intellectual brilliance.
Let's take two people who are close friends. Thabo offends Dave, making a random comment about his mom or some such. Dave is furious and won't talk to Thabo. Thabo however remains blissfully unaware of this upset.
Dave will not talk to Thabo. Life is hectic and as the busy days roll by Thabo doesn't notice that Dave's not around much and that they haven't gone out and don't call each other.
Since Dave is already stewed he gets a little more angry at Thabo as each day goes by. This has now created a vacuum of no communication and as we all know nature is none to keen on a vacuum so it fills itself. Dave at first wonders why Thabo hasn't called, then he plays their last conversation over and over and picks up "new details" every time he does. He begins to assume that there was no real affection there to begin with. This upset grows into hostility.
6 months go by and one fine Saturday Thabo hits the local mall and runs into Dave. Thabo is delighted and greets him effusively. This confuses the hell out of Dave and he lashes out. Thabo asks "what the hell?" and a couple of heated exchanges later they both realise the massive confusion, they give each other a hug and they're the best of mates, again.
6 months of torture and frustration for Dave could have been resolved with a 2 minute phone call: "Thabo, I'm really pissed and what you said, that wasn't cool." "Jeez Dave, sorry man I thought I was just making a lame joke." Boom! upset over and we move on.
The divides we create between ourselves and others are so often self manufactured and certainly self maintained.
The lesson is: When is doubt COMMUNICATE. It is, after all, the universal solvent!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The unbearable euphoria of the world cup
I will admit that I have been slow to catch on.
The world cup 2010 has been in planning for close to 7 years. I've been irritated during this time to observe many instances of media manufactured pessimism about what will happen from the infamous "plan B" frenzy to the "crime problem". But besides that the event has been very much "over there".
Then suddenly it has arrived. You cannot help but be caught up in the frenzy and excitement. Driving along the highways of Joburg I find myself making eye contact with other drives and giving a thumbs up or peace sign or whatever. How remarkable.
The sudden appearance of the plethora of flags along the major routes, at petrol stations and on cars adds to the excitement. I'm exhilarated by the create we see all over the city, trees being wrapped in orange (no, I don't know why), fields of garish yellow hands planted at the Gilooly's interchange, the massive flag of coloured stones that can only be clearly seen from the air.
And now I sit, 48 hours from kick-off and I can hardly work. I fantasize about Bafana reaching the finals and I'm overwhelmed at what this might mean for my country when two weeks ago I would not have rated Bafana's chances of even scoring a goal.
I am consumed by the magic and euphoria that has built. I'm filled with wonder at how for brief moments we can all see clearly and agree.
This represents the best of what humanity can be. That we choose this for such short periods is sad but nonetheless we have shown we can reach these hights so surely we can all do something positive everyday to make this unification a glorious constant in our lives.
That would be worth contributing to!
VIVA BAFANA BAFANA VIVA!
The world cup 2010 has been in planning for close to 7 years. I've been irritated during this time to observe many instances of media manufactured pessimism about what will happen from the infamous "plan B" frenzy to the "crime problem". But besides that the event has been very much "over there".
Then suddenly it has arrived. You cannot help but be caught up in the frenzy and excitement. Driving along the highways of Joburg I find myself making eye contact with other drives and giving a thumbs up or peace sign or whatever. How remarkable.
The sudden appearance of the plethora of flags along the major routes, at petrol stations and on cars adds to the excitement. I'm exhilarated by the create we see all over the city, trees being wrapped in orange (no, I don't know why), fields of garish yellow hands planted at the Gilooly's interchange, the massive flag of coloured stones that can only be clearly seen from the air.
And now I sit, 48 hours from kick-off and I can hardly work. I fantasize about Bafana reaching the finals and I'm overwhelmed at what this might mean for my country when two weeks ago I would not have rated Bafana's chances of even scoring a goal.
I am consumed by the magic and euphoria that has built. I'm filled with wonder at how for brief moments we can all see clearly and agree.
This represents the best of what humanity can be. That we choose this for such short periods is sad but nonetheless we have shown we can reach these hights so surely we can all do something positive everyday to make this unification a glorious constant in our lives.
That would be worth contributing to!
VIVA BAFANA BAFANA VIVA!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Why I love South Africa
However I hold no allegiance to that heritage. I always describe myself only as "South African". This was a major change for me. I spent the entirety of my teens trying to leave this country. It was, after all, the 80s and being South African was not popular, I was a teenager and the lure of America was massive.
Time passed, I got married and had a child. In 2002 I found myself in America for my 4th trip there and a curious thing occurred. I was homesick! I couldn't wait to get back home and for the first time I looked at America and thought "I like visiting here but definitely won't live here".
I love being South African and I take it all, the good and the bad.
This self indulgence is written as an introduction to the following. A speech given by Christo Wiese on the 7th of May 2010. It highlights what is positive about our country and why we all must do something to contribute to it's success.
"A few years ago I read a very interesting book, by a Lebanese writer, one Taleb, titled the Black Swan. By now, I am sure, we’ve all heard the story of the “once enigmatic” Black Swan - but what was the lesson of this story? Simply, that when confronted with incomplete data one often draws incorrect conclusions, and therefore – people often think they know more than they actually do know. Perhaps one should pay more heed to what Donald Rumsfeld, former US Secretary of Defence said on occasion:
“There are known knowns. These are the things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But these are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.”
Being ignorant when it comes to the unknown unknowns is understandable, but what constantly amazes, in respect of our continent and our country, is how little many people know of what are or should be, the known knowns.
Non-Africans, and I suspect even some South Africans, often fail to grasp that Africa is not a country, but a continent. And a very large continent at that; the land mass of Africa is larger than the combined land mass of China, India, the US and Europe.
This vast continent with its more than 800 million people is made up of 53 diverse countries whose inhabitants speak more than 2000 languages. And to mention only a second aspect of Africa’s diversity, per capita GDP in 2009 for example was 51 times higher in Equatorial Guinea than in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Another common mis-apprehension is that South Africa is a non-African country meaning unsuccessful.
How does one define a successful country?
Would you agree that a country with the following score-card can rightly be defined as successful. Let us call the country X.
1. X has the world’s 26th largest population and 29th largest economy.
- X’s per capita GDP, corrected for purchasing power parity, positions the country as one of the 50 wealthiest in the world
- X’s currency is the 2nd best performing emerging market currency of the 26 monitored by Bloomberg.
- The IMF’s World Economic Outlook ranks X in the top 10% of countries in respect of real GDP growth projections for 2010.
- X was ranked as the 18th most attractive destination for foreign direct investment by Global Strategic Management Consulting Firm AT Kearney.
- In the Economist Intelligence Unit’s Survey of Democratic Freedom, X ranks 31st of 184 countries.
- X has sold $1.8bn worth of cars to the US last year, putting it ahead of Sweden and Italy as supplier to the US auto market.
- X, according to the Open Budget Index, ranks 2nd worldwide in terms of the transparency surrounding its budgets, just behind the UK, it ties with France, and is ahead of New Zealand and the US.
- X is ranked 30th out of 178 countries for ease of doing business ahead of Spain, Brazil and India according to a joint publication of the World Bank and the International Finance Corporation.
- X’s media ranks 26th out of 167 countries in the Worldwide Press Freedom Index 2007, higher than any country in Asia, the Middle East or South America, and ahead of Spain, Italy and the US.
- Tax revenue in X has increased by 220%, over the past 10 years.
By now, I am sure, most of you have guessed that the mystery country of course is South Africa. Or rather South Africa as we have just analysed it, by focusing on the positive aspects. Of course there is another side to the coin. Our unacceptably high levels of crime and low level of policing efficiency. Our inability to achieve the desired output for our vast expenditure on education bearing in mind that – 25% of our non-interest budget expenditure goes to education. Also the ever present fear of corruption and maladministration, etc., etc. I am sure everyone has his or her own little list.
I would submit, however, that the positive aspects, that I have briefly referred to (and there are many more) at least prove that contrary to the way pessimists perceive South Africa there are definitely two sides to the South African coin.
The challenge for every South African appears to be which side of the coin do you wish to focus on for example when you drive to Cape Town International Airport - which is the lasting impression on your mind - the unsightly (albeit diminishing) shack lands – or the glittering new Airport precinct. Cape Town International Airport is regularly judged to be one of the best (mid size) airports in the world.
But as pointed out earlier, South Africa is unquestionably part of Africa. So we should also look at Africa.
Firstly, how is Africa faring politically? Fortunately we now have a very handy yardstick with which to measure African Governance. That is the Mo Ibraham Index established by the like-named Sudanese billionaire and compiled by a team from The Harvard Kennedy School of Government. The criteria used to compile the index are: economic stability, corruption, security, rights, loans, elections, infrastructure, poverty and health.
The 2008 Mo Ibrahim Index stated that 31 of 48 sub-Saharan nations recorded higher scores than in the previous year’s survey.
What this index reflects is the reality - that in Africa today the political generation of the Bwana Mkubas (Big Men) is showing signs of passing – prompting some to speak of Africa’s Second Liberation.
Those with a clear understanding of modern Africa believe that it is the growing democratization of Africa that allows the warm water of the market to spread within its states – a trend that in turn reinforces the spread of greater democracy. Economic and Political freedom will continue to lead as it has already done, to economic opportunities, social upliftment and a new place for Africa on the World Stage.
What are the reasons for Africa’s democratization? I would like to mention only four:
One powerful reason for this welcome change is demographic. The post 1960’s African population boom means that the continent’s electorate is on average young. Never having lived under colonialism they are far more likely to hold their politicians responsible for the challenges facing their countries. Blaming colonialism is increasingly seen for what it is, namely an excuse for bad governance.
Another reason for the greater democratization is the bigger role played by women in African politics. In Ellen Johnson Sirleaf of Liberia the continent has at last elected its first female president, one with an open style and a technocratic bias.
Previously chauvinist parliaments across the continent are seeing the number of women MP’s increasing. In Rwanda, a recent African success story, the ratio is now 56%. In South Africa it is 33% with females constituting 40% of our Cabinet.
Further support for the Second Liberation has come from Africa’s increasingly vociferous fourth estate. In an ever growing list of countries the Media has become the guard dog that barks and that no longer readily responds to being told to shut up.
The justice system in a given African country may not yet always be able to bring its former leaders to book. However Frederic Chiluba in Zambia and Bakili Muluzi in Malawi are welcome exceptions. In addition, external institutions, supported by African Nations are being established to fulfill this role. Charles Taylor of Liberia is having his day in court in The Hague and the International Criminal Court has even issued an arrest warrant for the sitting President of Sudan, Omar Bashir.
Just as Africa’s condition and future development will have a massive impact on South Africa, so will developments worldwide impact on Africa. So what will the New World look like that South Africa will likely inhabit in 2020?
China with a population of 1.5bn by then will be close to overtaking the US as the world’s largest economy. India (2020 population of 1.3 bn) will be a top 5 economy and Indonesia will be emerging as an Asian Brazil, resource-rich and with a population of 275 million.
Commodity-rich countries from the “New World” – Africa, the Middle East, Russia, Indonesia, and South America will be prospering, because of Asian demand for their products. Most of the “Old World” – the US, Europe and Japan plus their adjacent, dependant regions such as Mexico and Eastern Europe will be stuck in a low growth economic rut. Indeed the coming decade may well be the West’s Japanese-style “lost decade”. The reason being that the demographic consequences of the ageing of the Old World – coupled to the fact that the US, UK & Europe – 15% of the world’s population – currently consume 70% of the world’s mobile savings - this means that in the West there will be higher interest rates, a higher cost of capital and consequently lower economic growth.
Overall South Africa will live in a more globalised, intensively competitive world economy that will be increasingly focused on an urbanizing, industrialising Asia. The region which by 2020 will also dominate the growth in global consumption, driven especially by the exploding middle classes of China and India.
By 2020 it is projected that South Africa will have a population in excess of 53 million of which 30 million will be under the age of 25. Forced by intensive competition from Asia on South Africa’s remaining industrial base our economy will have to refocus on its core, defensible, competitive advantages : mining, agriculture and tourism. Sectors that are doubly blessed in that they are all labour-intensive and export orientated.
South Africa’s trade focus will by then have diversified significantly from the West. Asia will have become by far our most important trading partner - China most obviously but with English-speaking India a strong number two. Indeed the Indian Ocean Basin – from South Africa in the West to Australia in the East will have become a very prosperous trading basin.
South Africa’s economic status will be secured by its natural-resource based development with targeted value-added propositions added on to this foundation further enhanced by the development of tourism - a “magic” industry in that it is an export-earning service sector capable of absorbing large numbers of lower skilled workers - especially in rural areas.
But then optimise these opportunities we South Africans will have to learn to think out of the box socially, politically and economically - designing policies that are made for South Africa and that are good for South Africa.
Events over the last two years have illustrated that the capitalist way is not only to be found in the West. We must and I believe we will develop a 2020 vision for South Africa that is much more globally relevant than to-day in the Asia-centred, commodity-hungry world we will live in by 2020.
Skeptics of course will have grave reservations as to our ability to develop and implement such a vision. The answer to such sceptics (perhaps the same people who were hoarding bully-beef and candles in the run-up to the 1994 election) is to point to the many successes we have achieved as a country - in 1994 and in the sixteen years since.
As Roelf Meyer recently wrote in Die Burger. In taking stock we should compare ourselves with comparable countries in the rest of the world. We should not compare ourselves to the developed or Western World, because we were never part of that world. We should compare ourselves with developing countries and also countries that recently emerged from internal conflict. In the latter group we are a shining star and within the international community South Africa is still hailed as a beacon of successful conflict resolution.
Roelf refers to a 2009 issue of the Economist in which comparisons are drawn between 180 countries and specifically the 65 best economies in the world.
According to the survey: South Africa has the 25th largest purchasing power, is the 39th largest exporter, is the 25th largest manufacturer of goods and the 28th largest supplier of services. On the competitiveness Index we rank no 45. Not great, but it looks a lot better when one notes that Brazil, considered one of the leaders of the developing world and with a much larger population ranks 43.
But these are the achievements of yesterday and today. And we have to get from 2010 to the 2020 Vision. Other countries or societies will not do it for us. The Government on its own cannot do it.
Inter alia, because as Henry Kissinger once said:
“No policy – no matter how ingenious - has any chance of succeeding if it is born in the minds of a few and carried in the hearts of none” and Ronald Regan said: “The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the Government and I am here to help”.
Every South African who has the best interests of this country at heart, will need to do his or her bit. As general pointers I would like to leave you with a few suggestions:
"Make a positive difference, no matter how small, inter alia, by developing a positive mind set : Perhaps along the lines of what George Bernard Shaw said "You see a thing and you say "WHY?, but I dream things that never were and I say "WHY NOT?"
I would submit, however, that the positive aspects, that I have briefly referred to (and there are many more) at least prove that contrary to the way pessimists perceive South Africa there are definitely two sides to the South African coin.
The challenge for every South African appears to be which side of the coin do you wish to focus on for example when you drive to Cape Town International Airport - which is the lasting impression on your mind - the unsightly (albeit diminishing) shack lands – or the glittering new Airport precinct. Cape Town International Airport is regularly judged to be one of the best (mid size) airports in the world.
But as pointed out earlier, South Africa is unquestionably part of Africa. So we should also look at Africa.
Firstly, how is Africa faring politically? Fortunately we now have a very handy yardstick with which to measure African Governance. That is the Mo Ibraham Index established by the like-named Sudanese billionaire and compiled by a team from The Harvard Kennedy School of Government. The criteria used to compile the index are: economic stability, corruption, security, rights, loans, elections, infrastructure, poverty and health.
The 2008 Mo Ibrahim Index stated that 31 of 48 sub-Saharan nations recorded higher scores than in the previous year’s survey.
What this index reflects is the reality - that in Africa today the political generation of the Bwana Mkubas (Big Men) is showing signs of passing – prompting some to speak of Africa’s Second Liberation.
Those with a clear understanding of modern Africa believe that it is the growing democratization of Africa that allows the warm water of the market to spread within its states – a trend that in turn reinforces the spread of greater democracy. Economic and Political freedom will continue to lead as it has already done, to economic opportunities, social upliftment and a new place for Africa on the World Stage.
What are the reasons for Africa’s democratization? I would like to mention only four:
One powerful reason for this welcome change is demographic. The post 1960’s African population boom means that the continent’s electorate is on average young. Never having lived under colonialism they are far more likely to hold their politicians responsible for the challenges facing their countries. Blaming colonialism is increasingly seen for what it is, namely an excuse for bad governance.
Another reason for the greater democratization is the bigger role played by women in African politics. In Ellen Johnson Sirleaf of Liberia the continent has at last elected its first female president, one with an open style and a technocratic bias.
Previously chauvinist parliaments across the continent are seeing the number of women MP’s increasing. In Rwanda, a recent African success story, the ratio is now 56%. In South Africa it is 33% with females constituting 40% of our Cabinet.
Further support for the Second Liberation has come from Africa’s increasingly vociferous fourth estate. In an ever growing list of countries the Media has become the guard dog that barks and that no longer readily responds to being told to shut up.
The justice system in a given African country may not yet always be able to bring its former leaders to book. However Frederic Chiluba in Zambia and Bakili Muluzi in Malawi are welcome exceptions. In addition, external institutions, supported by African Nations are being established to fulfill this role. Charles Taylor of Liberia is having his day in court in The Hague and the International Criminal Court has even issued an arrest warrant for the sitting President of Sudan, Omar Bashir.
Just as Africa’s condition and future development will have a massive impact on South Africa, so will developments worldwide impact on Africa. So what will the New World look like that South Africa will likely inhabit in 2020?
China with a population of 1.5bn by then will be close to overtaking the US as the world’s largest economy. India (2020 population of 1.3 bn) will be a top 5 economy and Indonesia will be emerging as an Asian Brazil, resource-rich and with a population of 275 million.
Commodity-rich countries from the “New World” – Africa, the Middle East, Russia, Indonesia, and South America will be prospering, because of Asian demand for their products. Most of the “Old World” – the US, Europe and Japan plus their adjacent, dependant regions such as Mexico and Eastern Europe will be stuck in a low growth economic rut. Indeed the coming decade may well be the West’s Japanese-style “lost decade”. The reason being that the demographic consequences of the ageing of the Old World – coupled to the fact that the US, UK & Europe – 15% of the world’s population – currently consume 70% of the world’s mobile savings - this means that in the West there will be higher interest rates, a higher cost of capital and consequently lower economic growth.
Overall South Africa will live in a more globalised, intensively competitive world economy that will be increasingly focused on an urbanizing, industrialising Asia. The region which by 2020 will also dominate the growth in global consumption, driven especially by the exploding middle classes of China and India.
By 2020 it is projected that South Africa will have a population in excess of 53 million of which 30 million will be under the age of 25. Forced by intensive competition from Asia on South Africa’s remaining industrial base our economy will have to refocus on its core, defensible, competitive advantages : mining, agriculture and tourism. Sectors that are doubly blessed in that they are all labour-intensive and export orientated.
South Africa’s trade focus will by then have diversified significantly from the West. Asia will have become by far our most important trading partner - China most obviously but with English-speaking India a strong number two. Indeed the Indian Ocean Basin – from South Africa in the West to Australia in the East will have become a very prosperous trading basin.
South Africa’s economic status will be secured by its natural-resource based development with targeted value-added propositions added on to this foundation further enhanced by the development of tourism - a “magic” industry in that it is an export-earning service sector capable of absorbing large numbers of lower skilled workers - especially in rural areas.
But then optimise these opportunities we South Africans will have to learn to think out of the box socially, politically and economically - designing policies that are made for South Africa and that are good for South Africa.
Events over the last two years have illustrated that the capitalist way is not only to be found in the West. We must and I believe we will develop a 2020 vision for South Africa that is much more globally relevant than to-day in the Asia-centred, commodity-hungry world we will live in by 2020.
Skeptics of course will have grave reservations as to our ability to develop and implement such a vision. The answer to such sceptics (perhaps the same people who were hoarding bully-beef and candles in the run-up to the 1994 election) is to point to the many successes we have achieved as a country - in 1994 and in the sixteen years since.
As Roelf Meyer recently wrote in Die Burger. In taking stock we should compare ourselves with comparable countries in the rest of the world. We should not compare ourselves to the developed or Western World, because we were never part of that world. We should compare ourselves with developing countries and also countries that recently emerged from internal conflict. In the latter group we are a shining star and within the international community South Africa is still hailed as a beacon of successful conflict resolution.
Roelf refers to a 2009 issue of the Economist in which comparisons are drawn between 180 countries and specifically the 65 best economies in the world.
According to the survey: South Africa has the 25th largest purchasing power, is the 39th largest exporter, is the 25th largest manufacturer of goods and the 28th largest supplier of services. On the competitiveness Index we rank no 45. Not great, but it looks a lot better when one notes that Brazil, considered one of the leaders of the developing world and with a much larger population ranks 43.
But these are the achievements of yesterday and today. And we have to get from 2010 to the 2020 Vision. Other countries or societies will not do it for us. The Government on its own cannot do it.
Inter alia, because as Henry Kissinger once said:
“No policy – no matter how ingenious - has any chance of succeeding if it is born in the minds of a few and carried in the hearts of none” and Ronald Regan said: “The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the Government and I am here to help”.
Every South African who has the best interests of this country at heart, will need to do his or her bit. As general pointers I would like to leave you with a few suggestions:
"Make a positive difference, no matter how small, inter alia, by developing a positive mind set : Perhaps along the lines of what George Bernard Shaw said "You see a thing and you say "WHY?, but I dream things that never were and I say "WHY NOT?"
1. Harness the power of community
2. Engage in constructive participation
3. Do not be overwhelmed by all that is still unacceptable or sub-standard. Look around at the great things that are happening - Soccer World Cup.
We should not only see the positive - but embrace it and contribute to it. Surely then, but only then will exponential benefits flow to all of us who share this beautiful country."
2. Engage in constructive participation
3. Do not be overwhelmed by all that is still unacceptable or sub-standard. Look around at the great things that are happening - Soccer World Cup.
We should not only see the positive - but embrace it and contribute to it. Surely then, but only then will exponential benefits flow to all of us who share this beautiful country."
Thank you Christo! Well said.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The Lost Art of Being Understood
Being understood is the root of successful social and business interaction. Without it civilization is not possible. Unfortunately we are misunderstood all the time. According to a study you are only likely to fully understand (in terms of intent and tone) half the emails you receive on a day to day basis.
That's just email. Throw twitter, facebook, instant messaging, cell phones and good old fashioned face to face and we have a world where you can be instantly misunderstood 24 hours a day.
At the root of being understood is communication, yet it is only one third of the euqation. Ask any person or businessman and they'll tell you that communication, in one form or another, is at the root of their difficulties. Yet amazingly it is the easiest difficulty to fix.
In my recent travels I have found that the subject of communication has become tattered and worn through mis-use and confusion. It is fantastic that even though this lies at the root of 80% of social problems very few people believe it to be a problem that THEY have! And consequently is a scrambled search for crazy solutions that take us further and further from simple communication.
It's a wonderful subject to know!
I haven't said much here - I intend to write detailed articles on all of this in the coming weeks. I wrote this simply to say that being understood is possible, it's simple and it will change your world!
That's just email. Throw twitter, facebook, instant messaging, cell phones and good old fashioned face to face and we have a world where you can be instantly misunderstood 24 hours a day.
At the root of being understood is communication, yet it is only one third of the euqation. Ask any person or businessman and they'll tell you that communication, in one form or another, is at the root of their difficulties. Yet amazingly it is the easiest difficulty to fix.
In my recent travels I have found that the subject of communication has become tattered and worn through mis-use and confusion. It is fantastic that even though this lies at the root of 80% of social problems very few people believe it to be a problem that THEY have! And consequently is a scrambled search for crazy solutions that take us further and further from simple communication.
It's a wonderful subject to know!
I haven't said much here - I intend to write detailed articles on all of this in the coming weeks. I wrote this simply to say that being understood is possible, it's simple and it will change your world!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Service - the old cliché makes a come back
In the last weeks I have been studying the phenomenon of social media and branding online through this medium.
While I'm some distance from being an expert (but which I intend to be) it is interesting to me that "Service" has become immensely valuable in the online community.
I say this as a consumer as well as someone who is looking to establish a brand and provide a service. But the term may be defined differently than it has in the past. Quite obviously if you're buying a washing machine you want prompt delivery and a great price. That may never change. But how does this translate online and how do we get to the point that we want that washing machine. If you're online and savvy it's not old school.
It is no longer good enough to have a washing machine in an advert that tells me how wonderful it is. In fact we often find this to be distasteful. How does this machine measure up? What do other people have to say about the machine, about the company? What online resources exist to help solve issues relating to it after I've purchased?
More and more we look to other people like us for opinion and input. We don't trust the company, we trust each other. So don't tell me how great you are, I need others to tell me that.
If you have an online presence you better be prepared to supply these answers and make it very easy for us to get the scoop. And don't hide from the negative input. If it's out there we'll find it so have it right there on the website and deal with it.
And it all comes down to service in it's entirety. Throughout the history of business service has been thrown around and it's become a cliché. But now more than ever service must be understood and put completely into practice. Those that do will thrive, those that don't will be relegated to an ever decreasing off line market.
Now that I think about it, the washing machine wasn't the best possible example but there you go.
While I'm some distance from being an expert (but which I intend to be) it is interesting to me that "Service" has become immensely valuable in the online community.
I say this as a consumer as well as someone who is looking to establish a brand and provide a service. But the term may be defined differently than it has in the past. Quite obviously if you're buying a washing machine you want prompt delivery and a great price. That may never change. But how does this translate online and how do we get to the point that we want that washing machine. If you're online and savvy it's not old school.It is no longer good enough to have a washing machine in an advert that tells me how wonderful it is. In fact we often find this to be distasteful. How does this machine measure up? What do other people have to say about the machine, about the company? What online resources exist to help solve issues relating to it after I've purchased?
More and more we look to other people like us for opinion and input. We don't trust the company, we trust each other. So don't tell me how great you are, I need others to tell me that.
If you have an online presence you better be prepared to supply these answers and make it very easy for us to get the scoop. And don't hide from the negative input. If it's out there we'll find it so have it right there on the website and deal with it.
And it all comes down to service in it's entirety. Throughout the history of business service has been thrown around and it's become a cliché. But now more than ever service must be understood and put completely into practice. Those that do will thrive, those that don't will be relegated to an ever decreasing off line market.
Now that I think about it, the washing machine wasn't the best possible example but there you go.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Communication and Trust
I attended a talk yesterday about marketing which I found to be very interesting. But a comment was made which made me sit up:
The question was asked: "What is the key to a successful marriage?" The answer it turned out was not communication but rather "Trust". Fair enough but the comment was along the lines that it is an old wives tale that communication is the key factor. In fact communication is around 3rd or 4th in importance. The presenter provided an example: A husband comes home with lipstick on his collar and says to his wife "Honey, let's talk, let's communicate" The point? Lot's of communicating but no trust.
This really bothered me and I chewed on it for some time until I realised the problem with this statement. First off I know without a shadow of a doubt that communication is THE universal solvent and consequently THE key factor in any relationship. Secondly any husband who came home with lipstick on his collar would not be communicating. Any person who violates the agreements of a relationship (whether marriage, work, friends) reduces his communication. Because of the broken agreements he (or she) will look to avoid contact and communication and will, in a sense, be hiding.
Thus, trust is broken because of the breach of trust, followed by no or reduced communication. And in the reverse trust can only exist after communication and can only be maintained with further communication. In the example above, it will only be through truthful communication that this hapless husband will be able to begin the tough road to regained trust.
I felt much better when I saw this. My faith remains firm - it is communication that remains the universal solvent.
(takes a breath, takes a seat)
The question was asked: "What is the key to a successful marriage?" The answer it turned out was not communication but rather "Trust". Fair enough but the comment was along the lines that it is an old wives tale that communication is the key factor. In fact communication is around 3rd or 4th in importance. The presenter provided an example: A husband comes home with lipstick on his collar and says to his wife "Honey, let's talk, let's communicate" The point? Lot's of communicating but no trust.
This really bothered me and I chewed on it for some time until I realised the problem with this statement. First off I know without a shadow of a doubt that communication is THE universal solvent and consequently THE key factor in any relationship. Secondly any husband who came home with lipstick on his collar would not be communicating. Any person who violates the agreements of a relationship (whether marriage, work, friends) reduces his communication. Because of the broken agreements he (or she) will look to avoid contact and communication and will, in a sense, be hiding.
Thus, trust is broken because of the breach of trust, followed by no or reduced communication. And in the reverse trust can only exist after communication and can only be maintained with further communication. In the example above, it will only be through truthful communication that this hapless husband will be able to begin the tough road to regained trust.
I felt much better when I saw this. My faith remains firm - it is communication that remains the universal solvent.
(takes a breath, takes a seat)
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Pre-Marital Counseling?
Should a couple get marriage counseling before they get married? This is an interesting topic as opinions are so varied.But before we can look at that we have to look at the process of getting married - how this happened in the past and how it has changed.
Typically 20, 30 or 40 years ago you would have a situation where people attend church, perhaps regularly, maybe not, but they have a church to which they "belong". At some point in their lives they fall in love and decide to get married. The choice is obvious, if indeed there is even a choice: Meet with the local pastor and schedule the date with him. He then provides a short (or lengthy) counseling course over several weeks to prepare the young couple for marriage. And so it ran, regular as you like.
Fast forward to the present and the all too typical situation is no longer typical - it's quite frenetic. If we are going to church its just one of myriad social activities - Work, Facebook, travel, email, conferences. We have cellphones making us available instantly all the time. So in the first place the single generation is far more likely to meet and fall in love with someone outside their own cultural or religious leanings. Once they do they rarely rush into marriage but rather move in together and live that way for months or even years. So by the time they get around to the subject of marriage they've all but lived together as a married couple for some time already. So they go off to see the local pastor and that's where it gets complicated.
The first difficulty is that there is an issue that one or both have been pretty poor in attending church regularly. Or worse, they have different religious backgrounds. Both of these make for an awkward moment. Either the pastor refuses or he insists on the regular pre-marital counseling course and commitment to the church. The couple have already experienced life together and don't feel it is totally necessary. Also neither want to "convert" or make a commitment they don't feel so they decide that this is not the route for them.
So back to the original question: Should a couple get counseling before they are married? The simple answer is, yes. However it's not that simple.
The first barrier in getting gain from anything is to recognise that there IS something to be gained. Enforced counseling or going through the motions will be time and money poorly invested.
And the truth is there is much to be gained from counseling, assuming of course that the counseling is of a high standard. What is the key factor in creating a successful marriage? What is a successful marriage - how is this defined by each partner and how does this relate to the other partner? What gets a couple through the stress and conflict that can arise in a marriage? How do you "keep it fresh" in the years that follow the honeymoon?
These are important issues and they change constantly - we are always growing (or should be) as individuals and with this growth comes change. What you think about life today is different to how you thought about it 10 years ago. Will your spouse change with you? How do you ensure you change and grow together?
Done right counseling is no wishy-washy, "let's talk about our feelings", type of activity. It's a nuts and bolts look at the future partners will make together. And speaking as someone who has been married 21 years and counting - it's a fantastic ride with wonderful rewards.
So, yes, counseling is important but make the decision together and demand you get everything you can from it.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Justifying the Wedding Industry Bankroll
I was inspired to write this post after seeing another blog entry remarking on the "high" prices charged by marriage officers for their services.
According to the South African Bridal Industry Academy (SABIA) the wedding industry is worth R27 Billion annually. If accurate it's a staggering figure when you consider that 200,000 marriages are registered annually in South Africa which translates to an average cost of R135,000 per wedding! This covers all costs relating to a wedding from preparation, the event itself (including guests traveling from abroad) and the honeymoon. According to this article foreign couples coming here to get married spend up to R1 Million on their wedding!
Is this massive cost justified?
Being a marriage officer I have some bias for my particular service since given the above amount my cost is around 1% of the total and I'm the only supplier who absolutely HAS to be there.
Having performed over 500 weddings I have seen everything from 5 star service for 150 guests in the middle of the African bush to 5 people in a park without a single refreshment! So it all comes down to what the couple (read: Bride) want.
As with anything of a social nature there can be pressure from friends or family to do it better than others have done. This can make it pretty expensive.
And as the wedding industry is seen as a growth industry so more people view it with a gleaming eye and decide to try their hand at making it into a full time profession. To make a living you have to sell your service at a price that does make a living. And that can make it expensive.
And most importantly a wedding is sold as probably THE most important occasion in a woman's life and consequently are willing to do what has to make it the event of a lifetime. And that can make it expensive.
So, is it justified? Depends who you talk to, who is paying for it and who is selling it. But one thing is for certain: The industry will continue to grow and become worth more for as long as couples are willing to pay what is asked for.
My advice to anyone getting married is remember that there is a vast amount of choice so never take the opinion that you absolutely have to have something or buy something or do something in a certain way. It is YOUR wedding so demand and get the service you are paying for.
Lastly, from my biased opinion, a wedding remains one of our cultures great personal celebrations and whether its big, small or expensive it is a wonderful expression of an important moment in anyone's life.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
A Short History of Marriage
In a world that changes as fast as ours one wonders why people still get married. During the 1980s and 90s there was a definite anti-marriage theme running through our social discourse. But today marriage is as popular as ever and growing. In fact, on average, a wedding takes place every 3 minutes in South Africa, 24 hours a day every day of the year! And the number of weddings increases by around 2% annually.
From the time we climbed out of the trees and conquered the valleys and the hills marriage has been a part of our way of life.
In very early times a male simply took a woman to be his and in this way the race was propagated.
As we civilised the concept of marriage became more formalised but was primarily a way to protect wealth, property and bloodlines and for hundreds of years arranged marriages were the norm across many cultures. In Hebrew law if a man's brother died he was required to marry his wife. In ancient Greece there was no ceremony, it was just decided. Any idea of love or courtship was not part of the deal and certainly involvement of the bride was non-existent.
In Europe, it was only in the latter part of the first millennium, around 865, that saw the introduction of the idea that there should be mutual consent in a marriage and possibly even some affection. By the 1200s this had become more popular and the Christian tradition adopted the concept that marriage should include love between partners as Christ loved the church.
However, arranged or contracted marriages remained firm particularly among the upper classes of British and European cultures. And marrying outside your class or station and certainly outside your culture was verboten.
The marriage ceremony became more formal in the 16th century requiring the presence of a priest and at least two witnesses. A tradition that has continued to the present day and which is still a requirement in South African wedding ceremonies.
Interestingly the engagement ring is almost universal. The ring represents eternity and whatever forms marriages have taken through the centuries it was always considered to be a lifelong commitment.
The one thing that defines marriages in the present (and just about all endeavors of modern man) is choice. This began with the industrial revolution which spanned 200 years from the 1750s to the 1950s. But things really ramped up in the technological revolution in which we find ourselves today. The choice of partner is probably greatest in all of this. It is not just possible to meet and fall in love with someone half a world away, it is ridiculously easy: Ease of travel, skype, twitter, facebook. Fall off a virtual log and you meet people.
Although arranged marriages still exist in many parts of the world the modern idea of marriage is one of choice and mutual participation. And when it comes to the ceremony very often the groom has very little to do other than show up on the day.
Thus, love and affection are now dominating factors in marriage but it still remains a legal contract and both parties should be aware of the implications.
And to answer the question with which I began this post: People still get married because they find they survive better together and having someone to share the victories and the losses of life is a fantastic aide to our survival. In a chaotic and turbulent modern world that need is greater than ever.
Marriage has come along way and by all indications it will become ever more popular as the explosive growth in the wedding industry shows.
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